APRIL1999 WINNER

     What is the most pathetic thing you've done to "entertain" your friends? I'm having a lousy month so it better be good or no stinkin' prizes for anyone!

 2 years, meand some of my girlfriends went to Daytona for Sping Break. We stoped onMississipi to visit one of our sorority sisters. Wehad a small party and got a bit drunk and all of decided to strip just as a joke. My sorority sister's big brother & his buddies who were also in the house began to stuff money into our pockets. We got really goofie & just went nuts. Then some of the guys decided to show off by going drag racing & since we've never seen race cars, wedecided to go watch them race. It was really cool with all those cars that had all those gizmos on it. I'm not a big car fan but all the engines roaring was neat & exciting. This cute guy let me ride his suped uprocket car while he raced. He was telling about his car & how it was suped up. We get ready to race & we burn rubber. I didn't realize that my  period came a bit early. About 10 seconds into the race, I was standing up in the car and was screaming & dancing at my friends when he noticed blood was running down my leg. He began screaming at me & I sat down in embarassment. He flipped out because I'd ruin his seats.  He panicked & crashed his car. We had a few cuts but everyone was ok. I was soooo embarassed. When I got back to school, everyone knew about. For  days, evry time I got into one of my friend's cars, they would give me some paper towels & say- It's Bounty. The quicker picker upper. I've never been so embarassed & humiliated.

  WHHHHHAAAT....?

  I take it that you're not a communications major. This could have been a great 'Dear Penthouse' letter which went horribly wrong somewhere. Perhaps I'm missing something here but let me get this straight- A group of semi-drunk sorority women are sexed up & stripping. These guys would rather go play with cars. Christ! You ladies must look like mongoloid wildebeests. Are you in one of those service sororities?  Are you telling me that not one guy suggested that you ladies just continue stripping? That's so pathetic. But in your defense, we are talking about Mississippi. Observing Jerry Springer guests,  I come to the conclusion that the basic educational requirements (including a rudimentary course in genetics) are sorely missing there. Maybe they were a bunch of gay drag racers. Don't feel rejected!  Now that I've offended my 3 friends from Mississippi, let's move on.

   So you were riding "his rocket car"...  Don't tell me this genius strapped on a rocket booster to his '89 Datsun. I'm sure that 4 out of 5 proctologists would agree with me that a Titan rocket pointed at your rectum isn't a good idea.   Boy, I guess moonshine isn't a brain cell's best friend.  How come guys tinker around with crap that can get them killed? If John Denver & his self-made airplane has showed us something, it's that the word "experimental" should not be attached to any vehicle that you're going to travel in. 

   Ok, so your "feminine problem" arrived a bit early. That's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's just nature taking it's course. Although, I do understand how bleeding on a guy's lambskin seat cover of his "rocket car" during a drag race might be a bit distracting. The important thing is that you walked away alive. So your friends emotionally scarred you for life with their sophomoric teasing. That's what therapy is for. 

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