MAY 1999 WINNER
Since I was upgrading our entire website, this month's Grover's Corner will be replaced by fan letters. I feel so special now that I'm receiving letters from people from all over. So to christen our newly redecorated site, I've randomly picked out your kind letters of support. Allow me share the love with you...
Hey Jerkoff Grover
You're a fu**king jackass and your website blows. You think youre smart, you p**sy? You're nothing but a wise ass. If I saw you in my nieghborhood,
I'll tear you a new a**shole. Why can't you nice to people that write to you? What if kids write in and you criticize them? They'll be phychologically scarred because you want to be a big shot. Why don't you just cool with your attitude.You
're acting like a fu**cking little spoiled brat. If you're my kid, I'd spank the s**t out of you. Go f**k yourself, you a**shole!
-W.S.A Toronto, Canada
By the time you read this, the new look will be up & running. Where can I find your fabulous website? I'm a very nice fellow- I like to take long walks on the beach (to kick
down the sand castles the little kids make) & help out old ladies (so they put me in their wills). I'm a very happy go lucky kind of guy! I have the heart of a young boy… in a jar on my desk ;-) Yes, I sometimes have to be ruthless to some
our "winners" who are picked by someone other than me. I just answer back to their bizzare scribblings. Usually, our monthly "winner" tend to be wackos like you! So do you see why I get a bit irritated? Kids love me. Just
last month, I gave some teenager dating advice... ok, so his mom called up screaming that I shouldn't have told him to go masturbate. But, guess what? He's now dating his dream girl. Let's see Dear Abby do that. Who's the Man? I am, baby! You
know they have made wonderful advances in mental therapy field. If you want to learn more, visit your local library... it's that place with all those big books. As for that spanking, will I be charged?
Dear Real Deal staff-
Just saw your site.Cool! ...(goes on about Sable & Sunny for 2 pages)… Can I get free stuff or things you guys are tossing out like t shirts & stuff?
-E.I. Forest Hills, NY
Your in depth analysis on 2 very gorgeous women is intriguing. Unfortunately, I still don't have a clue as to what the point of it was. Aren't you the guy who has been writing us for the
past 2 months asking for free stuff? Didn't we give you a bunch of stickers & key chains a while back? No more free stuff! Ok, just to show W.S.A from Toronto that I'm a nice guy, I'll mail you... are you ready?... the home phone number
& address of a very feisty woman. Her hobbies include shot putting & watching snow melt. She's a spirited woman from Toronto, Canada (interesting enough her initial are also W.S.A just like woman who called me an a**hole). Since
she has some odd psychological condition, she will only answer the phones from the hours of 1am-6am. Trust me! She looks just like that sexy Sable (with radical cosmetic surgery). Don't wait... well, atleast until after midnight... to
call this sexy vixen today! Isn't this better than a free keychain?
Perhaps picking letters randomly from a pile wasn't such a good idea. So far I've picked a menu for Mr. Wok Wok's chinese takeout, a letter with a happy face drawn on it, a letter from Sally Struthers pimping AC repair college & 3 hate mail (which I doubt you want me to answer). If you've read one hate mail, you've read them all… By the way, to J.L from Lowell, MA, a workboot can not fit into the human rectum. So the joke's on you!
Hope you enjoy our new look! If you have any comments/suggestions please write or email us
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